So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
