I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
