After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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