Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
