Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
