trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
