How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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