I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
