i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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