the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
