I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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