You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
