I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
he laminated a picture of his dick.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
