Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i already hear my dad disowning me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): i already hear my dad disowning me http://tfl.nu/x26e
  Replies (2) Good night (2295) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk. http://tfl.nu/32ev
  Replies (21) Good night (5308) Bad night (970)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common. http://tfl.nu/z1qj
  Replies (7) Good night (802) Bad night (3351)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause. http://tfl.nu/nsj4
  Replies (38) Good night (5725) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (678): Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans. http://tfl.nu/jpyk
  Replies (32) Good night (8671) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season. http://tfl.nu/dtjf
  Replies (11) Good night (3616) Bad night (1197)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast http://tfl.nu/g654
  Replies (19) Good night (5116) Bad night (1029)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat? http://tfl.nu/hd1u
  Replies (56) Good night (7063) Bad night (2155)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care http://tfl.nu/jaq9
  Replies (7) Good night (2507) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (620): The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices". http://tfl.nu/jiwo
  Replies (23) Good night (5020) Bad night (1236)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher. http://tfl.nu/jcc0
  Replies (11) Good night (3772) Bad night (1085)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor. http://tfl.nu/nqp0
  Replies (6) Good night (1674) Bad night (497)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM. http://tfl.nu/w4qm
  Replies (2) Good night (1212) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (712): He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge. http://tfl.nu/wcqn
  Replies (3) Good night (571) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical http://tfl.nu/bb5y
  Replies (2) Good night (679) Bad night (192)

Randomize