how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me