you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
