I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
