Life is so much better after having sex.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
