He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
