I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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