i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
