oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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