It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
