its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
