I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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