You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
