I heard we made out
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
