# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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