No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
