Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
