also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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