Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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