I'd wear matching sweaters with you
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize