If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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