I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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