ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
