Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
