i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
