My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Come on in and take your pants off
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