After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Sorry about my life...
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
