please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
