Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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