those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
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