i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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