After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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