The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
