We're facebook friends in real life
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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