Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize