you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
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So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
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Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.