Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.