You're my little dorito
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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