He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
