I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
