Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
