I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
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Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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