I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
