id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
