It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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