It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Drunk is not a location!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
