He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
