remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
