I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize