I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
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I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
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did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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