clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
