it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
