dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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