he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Randomize
