Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
