What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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